When I was a child my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general. If you become a monk, you'll end up as the pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up Picasso.
--Pablo Picasso
i like that

yeah, so i was just thinking... maybe the gay guy thought we were gay. i do have the lot of em on my right side... hmm... ha, i dunno. but that'd have been fun

also, today the cute older woman at my work who busts on men left today. *sigh sigh* she's so darned cute. she asked me if i was on my last yr of college. i was like whoah buddy, no. i act older, they say. i suppose that's a good thing, considering that teenagers r overall obnoxious. craftmaster flex said, i thought u were older... u seem older... but hey, ur not jail bait. ha, holla

& oh yeah- here's some fun kiddies... one would hope...





WHAT TYPE OF WILD CREATURE ARE YOU? (New Pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla

yo yo yo

so hark, i haven't been around *gasp* hmm... now allow me to attempt to remember what the h i've even been doing...

well saturday night cat & i were supposed to go clubbing with meghan, 2nd attempt might i remind u, but alas, this time she was the one to bail. hurrah hurrah. instead we went to zee mall cuz i felt like getting a whole shot in my head. this little gay guy at piercing pagoda gave them to us for free cuz he liked us, he says. interesting... & thrifty. yep, so i got shot aiight. ha, i so don't think i could take getting a tatoo... but meanwhile, even gay guys were looking to plz the ladies, that was amusing.

yep, so then we slept over at cat's house & went to liberty science center the next day with cat's boy toy or whatever ya wanna call him this wk. he's gee golly swell. i got a monkey! well, technically i dont think it's actually a monkey, it's some other sort of primate, but awh, it was darn cute yo. cat freaked out in the touch tunnel, i accidently touched brian's crotch in the gift shop, and rachel explained that a salad will always be a salad. oh yes, it was a good time. then brian left & cat & i attempted to mess with our hair. yeah, don't use that feria highlighting kit. we weren't big fans. i dunno, aside from one spot where cat said "oops... oh... well, ok, ur gonna have a good one right here" mine looks alright. nothing too crazy. stupid hair. tomorrow is take 2, for cat at least, we'll see about me. oh joy!

sarah & mike then dropped by & picked up rachel. cat & i watched american pie & decided we still don't fancy it much & it makes girls look like total retards. awesome. then we talked about boys and painted our nails. ok, not really, but that just fit.

today at work we got a dress code posted. kids, i'm goin' nude aiight.

i've decided that the consumer has a mass obsession with the bag. it is a strong woman/gay man (craft store ppl) who can refuse its charms. so many ppl with one, easily carried item just need want have to have one. now i can see if ur going into another store but aiesh, it just bugs me. & often, the ppl who don't want a bag r damn snippy about it. that won't b necessary, fucker! ok, perhaps i embellish slightly, but still. yeah, i dunno if i've touched on this subject b4 but what can i say, it still troubles me. just say no to unnecessary baggage!

& destiny's child sings the theme song of mother's with daughters on jenny jones everywhere:
Shakin' that thang on that man, lookin' all stank and nasty
Swore you look cute girl in them dukes, booty all out lookin' trashy
Sleazy put some clothes on, I told ya
Don't walk out ya heezy without clothes on, I told ya
You nasty girl, you nasty you trashy
You classless girl, you sleazy you freaky
I ain't never met a girl that does the things that you do
Change don't come your way it will come back to you
Put some clothes on girl
...oh snap!
i don't think that song will ever stop being amusing... though they really are trying to send a message. interesting

hmm... yeah. i don't think i have much else of note to share right now... ha, which also assumes that some part of that was notable... but sure.... yeah.

ThatsASin: sorry, got kicked off earlier. and cheese sandwiches still rule

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from noel762: 'tis alright, i'm but a few feet away...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ThatsASin: EATING A CHEESE SANDWICH, I HOPE
mac & cheese is better anytime. anyplace. anyday. so there.

so apparently hours needed to be cut at work... yet, dana gets 37? *confusion reigns* oof

oceanica83: but there are a few good ones out there
noel762: perhaps they only say that for reproduction purposes
oceanica83: hahah what do you mean?
noel762: well if we lost faith in that idea
noel762: there would be an excessive amount of depression & homosexuality going on
noel762: not that those things r connected, but they'd b the reprecussions of such a realization, one could assume
oceanica83: wow
noel762: so really
noel762: we hafta believe this
noel762: if we want to save the species
oceanica83: and yet why did your story just make the future look that much darker?
noel762: awh, i'm sorry
noel762: or
noel762: perhaps i was using a psychological maneuver in attempts to seduce u
noel762: now who can really say
oceanica83: now there
oceanica83: is the dana i know!
oceanica83: oh man
noel762: haha
noel762: that's what i do
oceanica83: haha and you do it so well

so miss col read my lawrence brothers jive & brought up the idea of my rocking the lame celebs for the show next semester. that could be hot yo. the show could be hot. watch the hot show. ooh... no! no don't touch sweetie! it burns...
but it's a good burn charlotte, i swear!

woingwghiwangrjhgwaoihnbgaurgthaoegnoaw!!!!!!!!! ...gah!

i am a dirty mexican -my brother

so... what's up with the lawrence brothers? the other night i watched some of oliver bean & took note of the older son being played by andrew lawrence. now, that kid used to look like a freak yo, so i was like a lawrence brother? no way. observe lawrence brothers past:


and now-
lawrence brothers present:

ok, now what the hell happened? i wanna know what these kids parents look like. i mean granted, they'll probably all lack a solid career past adolescence, as witnessed in joey, ha, but they're all quite fine. what do they feed them? ps, they have a website. amazement i say. one time i did a search on ebay for joey lawrence & it offered up a naked doll of him. ok then.

ahh yes, i do love them lame "celebrities". peace out auntie may

and so i just got in from work like 10 minutes ago. what the fuzuck. thankfully, 'twas payday. craftmaster flex told me i'm hilarious. i was proud. we got chinese, but my fortune sucked. in bed didn't spice it up at all either. it was basically about nutrition. my boss said that they're the best cookies in the world. some lady brought in other cookies, & i think they were better. i currently have a headache. awesome!

& so hurrah! blogger has finally let me... blog... again! sexcellent

this morning i woke up & thought can anyone truly see? ...or all we all merely a little less blind than the next? & i was like whoah dude, that's heavy for an early morning thought. granted this was like 10am for me, but that's relatively early these days.

yeah, so i wanted to write last night because i was watching tv for once- ewh, i heard u spend 7 yrs of ur life watching it NOT me my friend- & on vh1 they had weird al on. i dunno if anyone else remembers, but he used to have a morning show on cbs that was sorta peewee's playhouse esque a few yrs back. ha, i do believe that only me & his mom watched it. though even she was probably lying about that. anyway, i dunno, i think he's pretty funny. well. on his vh1 special, al tv, he was mocking today's lame ass artists using their own words. oh man, i was laughing outloud as he "interviewed" avril. just check it out yo. i changed the channel to some good ol' conan, flicked back, & alas, he was then mocking britney spears. then justin timberlake came into the picture & britney was like it's micheal jackson!. then i just left the tv, cuz i ain't spendin' no 7 yrs in front of it. oh that weird al...

swimming is different than it was when we were younger. cat, sarah, rachel & i went the other day & we basically just sat/stood in the water & talked... which yeah, we could do outside of the pool as well. i think it's the first i'd been swimming since project graduation. then there were boys present, however, & that disrupts the swimming. why must young men always feel the need to throw young women when in the water? then we go STOP IT! with a stupid whine & go near, thus causing it to happen again. we are all so stupid.

speaking of project graduation, we managed to sneak in to see them all get them dandy diplomas. *sniff sniff* it was a weird experience. congrats class of 2003!

i watched never been kissed again yesterday, which was cool cuz i had just mentioned earlier that i enjoyed it. i like drew barrymore. the only thing about that movie that really trips me up though is guy peterson. like, when he says i get to have a sword, it seems as if he's mocking the barbie girls... but yet he is the leader of the lemmings. questions? comments? yeah

so last night while looking for pictures to fullfill my current scrapbooking obsession, i found ma destiny... destiny's chil'! album. ha, holla. for those of u who have never heard joey say their name, i realize u may have felt that i was saying this was my destiny... well ur WRONG. but yeah, dangerously in love is on this album... yet it's on beyonce's new one. *air of confusion* she cowrote it... but i dunno

oy, i've had that i must not chase the boys song in ma head. i think it's because megan's hair made me think of their hair. & dude, megan's hair looks so cool. i can't stress this enough. & speaking of boys, i hope mine isn't dead.

yvone- i got ur address ;) of course i didn't expect u to post it. there r probably old men salivating over this jive. ehhh... go put on some pants

alright, i'm gonna b working mad late tonight, perhaps i'll share some more later. rest ur eyes chicklets

"It's been reported that five young men in Baghdad have started a boy band modeled after N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys. If this is true, it means that Iraq may finally have acquired a weapon of mass destruction."
-Conan O'Brien

hark! it was actually a nice day out today. kids r getting out of school so joy, work was jam packed with fun. there was an old guy with an irish accent though, so that was cool... oy, someone asked me if we sell car air fresheners. uhm, it's a craft store buddy. seriously, ppl r stupid. i have been asked for the most insane things. a few days ago, someone asked if we have "those pads u put in shoes that don't fit right". there's even a shoe store in the same lot a few stores down. ppl often ask about greeting cards, i suppose this i can understand... but cigarettes?! why on earth with a craft & fabric store have cigarettes... oy, personally though, i still think my favorite inquiry was as to if we sell swimming trunks... oh my

i'm currently all up on the scrapbooking. i'm such an old lady. ha, speaking of which, i developed a random roll of film & it turned out to b from the monkees concert i went to like a yr ago. craziness, i totally thought that film had been ruined. good times yo, good times indeed.

hmm... i got something for yvone today. give me ur address u fiend! *teehee*

dude, mary kate and ashley also have their own caller id phone & boom box. no wonder why they're worth 2 billion... hot hot hot!

i talked to jeff earlier. in a nut shell i told him that i'd accompany him to a historical dance party if he wore an orange top hat- holla. yes, i realize this is vague. ha colleen! i can do it too. ha! i say

a kid came in to my work today with a rat tail midway down his back... braided. he was reading hp5 as his mom shopped. laughing audibly, the little guy had to b literally like, shoved from place to place he was so into it. them fans b hardcore yo. i suppose i just don't get it.

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
--Friedrich Nietzsche

alright, yay.


How Golf is like Urinating in a Public Restroom

10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width
apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead
of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be quiet while others are about to go.
1. Keep strokes to a minimum.

g'n mac

gah, was i meant to b a girl?

here's an octopus. just because that's the first word that popped into my head. enjoy.

* Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans *
1- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throws. You fooled a dog!
What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

so wow, work actually didn't suck today. i got to work with this new girl meg most of the day. she's 20 & she has curly hair. she was telling me how glad she was to find that there was someone not 16 working there, ie me. awesome. we're now awkward aged pals together- not quite girls yet... not quite women. ahh yes, thank you britney, where would a gal's reasoning be without ya?

so what's this? yvone goes back to her homeland & her crazy lil' asian pals help her work up the mother of all blogs? psha... thinking u could show me up... just watch out yo. watch it.

is this funny? The other day I saw this T-shirt that said, 'I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is.' Some people laugh at that, but I didn't think it was funny at all, so I told my girlfriend to take it off.-Arj Barker. ehh, not so much

so, i watched last comic standing again. anyone else? if so, wth is up with that spikey haired lady? como se dice NOT FUNNY. man, i wanted the lesbian look alike to get it... ps i realize that to the majority of u this may not be surprising.

i hate the point in the night where ur kinda hungry, but not quite hungry enough to eat cuz hey, u'll b sleeping soon anyway... but ay, hungry enough that this solution of sleep just ain't good enough. hurrah. i am so there. so there i say!

ook... how bout an email:
Due to increasing products liability litigation, liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all
containers:

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your bra.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like a retard.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
your friends over and over again that you love them.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at
four in the morning.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
can logically converse with members of the opposite sex
without spitting.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your
ass kicked.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over
in the morning and see something really scary.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than
most people.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you are invisible.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance
in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.

!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy

i have bif naked "moment of weakness" in my head. word.

ok what the hell, how bout a quiz too. i'm feelin' like a giver alright...


You are Brian Molko!


Who are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'll admit that i don't know how this quiz got so popular since it's basically one girl asserting what she thinks is cool but uh, well, she knocks avril & thinks i rock. so that's always fun.

aaand now i have stp in my head... how does this happen i say...

According to a study at the University of Valencia in Spain, attractive men produce the best quality sperm. That seems odd to me. I would think unattractive men would produce the best quality sperm because afterall, they do it by hand."
-Jay Leno
kinda rank, but more so amusing

i think i just agreed to go clubbing with meghan tomorrow night... lured by the thoughts of dancing & glitter. ha, now i'm wondering what i'm getting myself into... yeah!

i got written up at work today, that was cool. apparently my drawer was short the other day. am i getting fired? no, but i didn't appreciate the accusatory looks i recieved from my manager. man, if i were gonna rip them off i'd take more than a couple bux. but oh wait, i wouldn't rip them off. i just come in whenever they need me & do whatever they ask me to, but ya know, whatever

grandma didn't win the $180 mil, but last week she did score 7 bux. yeah grandma.

when i got in this evening my fam was watching signs. uhm, yeah. that movie still sux

i've got some song in my head. it's like i don't know why sometimes i get frightened then somethin' about not lyin'. i heard it while in transit today but alas i can't remember the words... though i was of course singing it at the time. that always gets me. when a song is on ya know how it goes, then later ya try & explain it to someone else & the lyrics suddenly become a series of blahs & oh wait- blaaaahhhhhs. good times indeed.

yeah, so i love no doubt. i've been loving them since 7th grade, but alas, i can't stop. i was listening to rock steady today & i was just like yeah man, this b slammin'. as much as i'll think gwen can b stupid, i enjoy when she throws out those lovely girly lines like let's talk about how much you like me, and all that. she is a girl yo. though she's funky, i suppose she's allowed to be an idiot sometimes cuz yeah, we all r. & come now, we both dig the black eyeliner. ugh, i can't find return of saturn. hey t2 kids, anyone got my cd? cuz i certainly don't & i know i had it to begin with... i just know that i lent a lotta ppl cds... grr. but yeah, i enjoy them. if u disregard the song that i just claimed was in my head, i'll throw another at u- running, that's been in my head as well:
Be, be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up
sing it gwen, sing it.

the kids r graduating in a couple days yo. *sniff sniff* sarah & i were talking today about how different things are now from a year ago. yeah, some of it's the same, but wow. it's whacked how that happens. i don't miss hs though. i enjoyed it thoroughly, & now with a new class of graduates i can certainly look back fondly & affirm that that era has certainly said goodbye. oh sigh, sigh sigh sigh. as good ol' bob said, the times they r a-changin'. why yes bob, & i do believe that they shall continue to, so amen to that.

so.. yeah, whatever. i'm in a relatively good mood for 1219, knowing that i have to get up in 7 hrs, i feel.

alright, how bout some email fun? it's been a while...


Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 years to learn:

-The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

-You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

-You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

-The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

-There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

-There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

-People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

-If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

-The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

-If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

-You should not confuse your career with your life.

-A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

-No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

-When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

-Your true friends love you, anyway.

-Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

*shakes it fast* damn straight yo. sleep well kiddies ;)

ya know the nazis had pieces of flair that they made the jews wear- the almighty peter gibbins. yep, i watched office space today. joy of joys

i really didn't do anything constructive with my time today. i was supposed to hang out with sarah & friends but i got up late & felt completely unmotivated to move. i made kyle a sandwich though, that should count for something. he likes cream cheese & ham... what *is* that?

kala: but i mean, he totally digs me - he throws twigs and pretxels at my face
me: nature and snack food
me: shit man
kala: nothing says i am sweating you like a hard whip of cheese crunchies at someone's face
she looks asian when she cries yo. true dat

am in the only one who doesn't find the summer to b that exciting? i mean don't get me wrong, having time off is cool, but work is a bitch. it's almost july now... hurrah hurrah. i dunno, i'm just not feelin' it i suppose. i go through phases. one time i made a little book about the phases of summer. i dunno, i was always big on categorizing why things were as they were i suppose. perhaps i can dig it up & share some of that 14 yr old enlightenment with u fine folks.

k, there's not much to share so let's get to the quiz...


Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.


What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

correction to yesterday's entry, courtesy of rachel:
You may want to spell check yur blog before you post stuff...for example, you wrote "they served their sandwiches on some friend i had never heard of " and it was definitely bread that the sandwiches were on...but i may have been drunk
funny thing is, i do read it over. i guess the idea of eating chicken parm off one of my friends was just too tantalizing for me to have corrected it. what more can i say

so today... work. puh. ppl brought in food though, which was bloody awesome. chocolate cake & strawberries were involved *angels sing*. slight motivation yo. i have off tomorrow. joy of joys

sarah told me that i need the boy back b4 i turn into a total lesbian. this is because i'm only part gay now, of course. interesting, no? suddenly whenever there are attractive females involved my friends are like dana would like that... interesting phenomenon indeed. though i'll agree that i would certainly like the boy back. i dont wanna b a total lesbian. i like having long hair, & i'm not even that good at softball.

i feel like watching a movie or something. holla back youngin'. holla back.

The Withered Lover


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

reading a sign in the restaurant we were in:
me: readings by nora... oh cool, they do psychic readings here?
cat: no, look at all the books
(laughter... at me of course)
me: so this is what it feels like to be sarah

happy birthday to kyla. happy half birthday to me. what what

yesterday was a craptastic day at work. i could not wait to leave. cat, sarah, & rachel came in a little before i was to leave, so later i got to chill it with them fine ass bitches. we went to the cutest little restaurant/coffeehouse place. they served their sandwiches on some friend i had never heard of, but the word looked an awful lot like punani, if i'm indeed spelling that right. rachel was attempting to dare me to ask the waitress for some punani. i said sure, i'd order a one sweet melissa as well (actual name of a drink there). holla. they had fruit sorbet in the actual fruit. it was bloody awesome. they have good punani.

we later watched clerks, which i had never seen b4. man, near the end when his friend goes on about how we like to think that our jobs r important, but really any idiot could do them, & that we just need to feel important though we're really no better than the customers we hate... oof. that was rough yo. but let's get it straight- perhaps any somewhat educated tool could do my job, but i dunno about just any idiot. watch out mac.

it's an amazing concept for vh1 to play showgirls. apparently they draw clothes on all zee naked ladies... which would b uhm, let's see, how bout all of them. ha, dude, that is awesome. imagine telling ur grandma that ur paid to draw on hahas all day... man oh man.

yo yvone- check it out:

Funny Asian Man


What's Your Personality Type?
brought to you by Quizilla
sing it

is this a porno movie? my lovely little brother

awh, yvone i do appreciate that! that's an awesome picture yo. ay, i feel bad. i knew that in saying goodbyes i'd inevitably forget someone. & guess who that someone was? *bites lip & nods* yes, yes it'd b our dear kristaps. figures i forget to say goodbye to the friend going back to the other side of the world to live forever & ever. oh yeah, score for me. so yeah, now he probably does just think i was being mean. oh sigh sigh sigh. i'll hafta email him the ithacapella pix yo. he looks like the man alright

yeah! hope everyone enjoyed the me & yvone blog convo in action! ow ow!

i like cow's utters. when u squeeze them they go boing... or wait, is that a pig's tail that goes boing? more fun with kyle

last night i got the pleasure of conversing with that sexy beast colleen:
noel762 (12:10:56 AM): i feel like i was gonna tell u something... but now i dunno what it is/was
noel762 (12:11:04 AM): but still, i felt the need to share this
Lactaid Lady (12:11:29 AM): a shame that it hath escaped you
noel762 (12:11:47 AM): truly
noel762 (12:12:07 AM): though i might have just made it all up
noel762 (12:12:18 AM): i might just b a pathological liar
noel762 (12:12:26 AM): god colleen, all i ever wanted was to b close to u
noel762 (12:12:31 AM): can't u just understand that?
Lactaid Lady (12:13:13 AM): because i cant take your love
Lactaid Lady (12:13:17 AM): it's too strong
Lactaid Lady (12:13:21 AM): and i am afraid
noel762 (12:13:41 AM): but... *jaw quivers*
noel762 (12:13:44 AM): i...
Lactaid Lady (12:13:51 AM): dont....
noel762 (12:14:05 AM): oh! *gets flustered*
noel762 (12:14:22 AM): *looks around, somewhat startled & confused*
Lactaid Lady (12:14:25 AM): alas my love, our short time is up
Lactaid Lady (12:14:30 AM): i must away
noel762 (12:14:34 AM): why can't u understand
noel762 (12:14:41 AM): why...
noel762 (12:14:45 AM): *runs away to bury her face in her pillow & weep*
Lactaid Lady (12:14:45 AM): i do, but i just cant handle it
Lactaid Lady (12:14:50 AM): Dana!
Lactaid Lady (12:14:57 AM): (reaches out hand)
noel762 (12:15:06 AM): *turns back with a tear stained cheek*
Lactaid Lady (12:15:15 AM): I ....
Lactaid Lady (12:15:23 AM): I Love....kitties
noel762 (12:15:43 AM): :-\
Lactaid Lady (12:15:49 AM): and you are my kitten
noel762 (12:15:56 AM): *raises a brow*
Lactaid Lady (12:16:00 AM): (bites lip to contain INTENSE emotion)
noel762 (12:16:03 AM): ...really? *sniffles*
Lactaid Lady (12:16:13 AM): really
noel762 (12:16:22 AM): *meek smile*
Lactaid Lady (12:16:24 AM): no i'm sorry love, but i have to go (hand to your cheek)
noel762 (12:16:50 AM): *tosses about the dirt with tip of shoe, avoiding direct eye contact* if u must...
Lactaid Lady (12:16:52 AM): but i will return
Lactaid Lady (12:17:06 AM): i promise (raises your chin)
noel762 (12:17:37 AM): *raises eyes to meet urs. elongated blink*
Lactaid Lady (12:17:42 AM): bye (turn abruptly and walks off into the sunset)
Lactaid Lady signed off at 12:17:54 AM.
noel762 (12:17:56 AM): *pulls in fist to mouth & gasps*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Previous message was not received by Lactaid Lady because of error (12:17:56 AM): User Lactaid Lady is not available.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

noel762 (12:18:05 AM): whyyyyyyy?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Previous message was not received by Lactaid Lady because of error (12:18:05 AM): User Lactaid Lady is not available.
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hardcore, i know

in taking this quiz i figured that if anything other than sag, i'd b a leo. well what do ya know. score for me...

You should be a Leo, your Outgoing, friendly,
generous, loyal, and fearless, but you can aslo
be rude, loud, and a little hot Tempered.


~*What is your TRUE Zodica sign?*~
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...but i'm still a sag, dammit

kala: dude, so how long do you think before the olsen twins make a porno together?

i just had chocolate milk for the first time since the incident... not too bad, but i don't think i'm in need of it either. it's different from the kind at school... but still. i've certainly been traumatized. abby knows

man, i'm so tired. i'm working again tomorrow. oh, & the day after that. argh. i was busy today yo. i am everyone's toy it seems. sigh.

i like apples. & to think, there r so many different kinds, but alas, all apples. good times, no?

day & night, night & day, all i've got to say is...
name that tune, foo

happy 17th birthday olsen twins! oh oh, they're almost legal

so yvone writes a long post & says she's "pulling a dana"... i dunno man... who knew blogging would b branded as such. start talking about all ur crazy brazilian monkeys yvone. then we'll see who's pulling a dana

oh man. so the best thing happened at work today. jen, aka craftmaster flex, got trapped in the bathroom. allow me to explain.
so, i'm walking towards the back of the store with my empty cart, for alas i have put away all my merchandise cuz oh right, i ROCK, when i see the ladies from the framing department talking to the bathroom door.
someone's trapped in the bathroom. get doris they tell me. ok... it was the customer bathroom so i was like ha! this is great. we have the lock taped over so i just figured they needed to break through it & didnt have the right stuff or something. so, i get doris who says what the hell am i gonna do? & we trek on back there. now another woman, anita is back there, talking about how the dead bolt turns, but the lock just ain't movin'. the voice inside reveals that it is our beloved craftlady, trapped behind 2 solid inches of pine. thankfully, she was not in the middle of a kid's craft class. oh the horror. well we're all standing there like hmm... when i thought hark! let's go through the ceiling! after all, they do it on tv. so i got a ladder & a screwdriver & passed it on over. she was able to unscrew the lock & eventually we got the jammed dead bolt out & jen was freed. the kingdom rejoiced. luckily, she thought it was funny too. we decided that no matter what, this was the best thing to happen all day, even though it was only like 10:30. jen said that it was a smart idea to go through the ceiling & that i saved her life. she even told her dad about it. though i dunno about that, ha, it was awesome. if it had been a little kid in there, man, that'd have been rough. score for friday the 13th alright. *shakes head* awesome

a la simpsons-
lisa: why does jesus have a lasso?
homer: because he's a real man

wow, many quotable instances these past few days... we'll see what i actually remember.

hmm... so what's in the news... well, i got a raise at work, not as much as i'd like to see though, hurrah. of course my car needs to b fixed... score! cuz that's what i wanna spend $ on... why oh why does this always happen. the car seems to b jealous of the green stuff yo. i put my paycheck in the console, it likes the feel of it on its vinyl. then suddenly, i'm shelling out hundreds of dollars to get the old boy jazzed up. what the h. what. the. h.

a commercial on the radio speaks of a contest to win $100,000
meghan: a hundred thousand, is that like a million?
me: is that like a million?
meghan: yeah
me: a million would b a million. a hundred thousand would b a hundred thousand
meghan: ohh... that's right.
uhm?!? wow. just wow.

so yesterday zee girls & i went on an escapade to the palisades mall. big frickin' mall yo. ha, this was when sarah had *her* moment to shine. to set the scene- seeing as that we are passing an outdoorsy sort of store, cat & i r talking about how we should go camping. mike, sarah's bf, has a brochure on some cabins which she keeps speaking of, though we have yet to see.
cat: we should go someplace
me: yeah, like that thing that mike has
sarah: oh what, the chairs?
the chairs u say? ha, what chairs? no one said a word about chairs. dude, i could have fallen over. perhaps the effect of this can't truly b captured in blog form but wow. then everyone started mocking me for my laugh. oof.. not a day goes by, i swear to u... one day, one day it shall evolve again...

i made a quality omelette today. with cheeeeese, chimes mel b. oh yeah, go me.

so of course we got lost on the way back home. we ended up on the tapanzee. that's hot yo. in the foodcourt some thug style brotha spilled his extra large soda from bk & then just kept walkin' all it don't mattuh. chill yo, chill

and ha! so as if yesterday's quotability compacity couldn't get any better- also in the food court, there was this huge sign which read food, fun, and JEEPERS! a monkey is that not AMAZING? & jeepers a monkey. no freaking way. man... i love monkeys. in vicky's, which we of course hit, they had a bra with monkeys. there were also bananas though, *and* it was pink. 2 against one yo, i passed.

ever find letters or diaries from years ago? ya know, i remember back when i kept a diary thinking about how it'd b so cute for a future daughter to read. i think i got the idea from ghostwriter (gabby's dad gave her a copy of her deceased mother's "harriet the spy"- she had written in the columns so it was 'like she could talk to her'). yeah, uhm, how bout stupid idea. sorry 5th grade self, but no one gives a crap if ur locker wouldn't open. i think i just liked writing in colored pens or something. plus, for the most part, all ya write about r the cabbage head boys ya fancy. so like omg, he like, exhaled in my general direction today! ahh!! he is soooo cute!! *shakes head in disgust* ugh, why? why oh why

i wish i had jr mints. last summer i was addicted to them in the worst way. i'm not sure quite how that came about or concluded but whoah buddy, i want some freakin' jr mints.

today i got to b on the register all bloody day. oy, ya know what really gets me? when u ask a customer if they'd like a bag for, let's say, their poster board, & they say if u have one or if u have one big enough. dude, seriously, why the hell else would i ask? why not just say yes, sure, please, no thank u, i'm allergic to plastic? one day i just wanna b like really? yeah... & just sorta zone out for a while. sweet nature of holiness

the other day we came across a shirt that said jesus is my homeboy. everyone deemed it my shirt. sometimes, i get frightened.

ya know that 10,000 maniacs song 'because the night'? ...i believe it's called... well it just randomly occurred to me today what the hell she's even saying. because the night BELONGS TO LOVERS. ha, who know. i hadn't known if it were lasting lovers or and i'm still lovas... & dammit now i forget the following line. oh well, i'm sure one of u gems will IM me on this one. but come now, isn't the mystery fun? & am in the only one with this problem? one must question... oh well, whatever... it's called diction. natalie merchant, take note.

so one of those good ol' medication commercials comes on. ppl r dancing through fields, playful puppies r romping about with joyous children. all is well and in absolute harmony as the announcer speaks of the headaches, nauseau, & rampant monkey infestation that is to follow. then the following takes place:
grandma: i took those for a little while
kyle: did u get any of the sexual side effects?
oh. man. i don't think grandma could hear him. ha, but oh man

dude, so did ya know that a racehorse averages a weight loss of between 15 and 25 pounds during a race? well gasp, me neither. that's whacked yo. don't say i never taught u anything.

i watched last comic standing this evening. i'm not big up on the tv but i was like ahh, what the hey, this is supposed to b funny. not so bad. this one guy, with excellent curly hair mind u, spoke of sharks... at least i think it was him... i dunno, but either way the curly dude was cool, ha, as if i'd ever say otherwise... another chick talked about how her spanish mother always got mistaken for their housekeeper. she was saying that it didn't help that her mother had poor english & would confuse the words chicken & kitchen. i make u some kitchen, she'd say with a thick spanish tongue, i put on the chicken counter. i fancied her as well. delightful. i dunno if i'd watch it all the time, but it's amusing enough for summer tv

you can call me al is on. *busts a groove*

so... sarah & i intended on going back to the mall today cuz we're really lame. well, to b fair we both had stuff we wanted to return... but i'd b a liar if i didn't confess that for me at least, it's all about the vicky's. like i said b4, i'm an addict. i mean, it's limited to the sale though, so only twice a yr do i transform into this fiend... i suppose that's forgiveable enough... oh well. but yeah, we were gonna go until her mom's head spun & she wouldn't let her use the car. my car, being as g to the hetto style as it is, can't climb the mass mountain of a hill to her house... sooo nothing. huff. ...must...find...a...way...

i cut kyle's hair today. oh man, waaaay too long. like, the kid in home alone 3 style long. bleh. & oh oh oh- no more tail! yes that's right folks, we've welcomed the child back into the present decade.

alright, here's an email. bam!

What are Men Really Like??

Men are like.....Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just LOOK SILLY

Men are like.....Computers
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
well now boys, wasn't that a self esteem booster? ha, ay

reason #811 why jeff is... i dunno, jeff:
Jude713: I don't need to take this abuse
noel762: ur right. i'm sure there's a book about resistance at ur local library
Jude713: I'm going right now... and if it's closed I'm breaking a window and stealing it
Jude713: I need to know how to stop the violence!
noel762: how ironic
Jude713: irony is what makes the world go round
Jude713: I don't know what I meant by that
noel762: & we wouldn't want it any other way
Jude713: of course not
go jeff, go

ook... later skunks

alright, back in business...

dude, joan rivers turned 70 yesterday. how messed up is that? plastic plastic everywhere...

ok, so today was the almighty semi annual sale a la vicky's. *excitement brews* children, there r few things in life which can bring the joy of pretty underwear. i saved like a hundred bux with all them crazy discounts, twas amazing. ahh! i love it. cat was working so she was tossing stuff at me. i actually got things that match, i had never really tried b4. good times. i'm such a loser, i wanna go back again. hello my name is dana, &...*bites fist* ...i'm addicted to pretty underwear.

Mr. Potato Head is endorsing the slicing, frying, and consumption of his fellow potatoes. It gives him, and all your Hasbro toys, a bad name. Why not get an actor dressed up like Hitler to promote "Risk"? Why not have the Monopoly man encourage people to eat mustacheoed millionaires? courtesy of the lovely site i'm enjoying this evening

i'm listening to queen. hot dog do i loves me some queen

sarah- i'm pissed off cuz i forgot that i had a black bra on & i brought a white tank top
rachel- you can't tell
sarah- good
me- i noticed right away
sarah- dammit, i knew dana would be the one to look at something like that
yep, that's me... whatever that means

so the devils won. that's cool yo. i have a devils slammer, back from them good ol' POG days... word

also from that site:The plot is pretty formulaic, like your other ones -- there's an Everyguy who falls in love with some woman, but they don't know if they like each other, whatever. I don't really care about that part. I just want to tell you about the robot squirrels.
In 2005, I predict robot squirrels will become an enormous fad, similar to the Hula Hoop or Pet Rock. Every child in America will want to own several dozen of these playful metallic creatures. So whenever you need a laugh, you just throw in a few robot squirrels, and everybody yells, "ROBOT SQUIRRELS!"
ha, oh squirrels... ya just can't lose

too many noodles really can mess u up. just check out the damn site. u'll see, 'tis a good time

alright, peace out cub scouts

for the record, i wrote a lovely entry a few hours back but it was consumed by the evils of technology it seems, for alas it is not present. wth yo... wth

i just got back from cat's house. we made mix cds with splendid covers. the front of mine is a picture of a dog licking an old lady's face. it says that lollipop tastes delicious! ha, i think... it's downstairs so quite honestly i'm not entirely sure but uh yeah. it's called the ultra mega mix. oh oh, holla... holla. yeah... the back represents though. it's a bunch of small plastic ninjas where assorted colors with all different weapons. there's a caption there too but alas i'm an idiot & i can't remember it right now. note to self: don't start stories u can't finish. ugh, whatever, cat looked at it & said i was amazing. hell yeah.

my back kinda hurts. not like ooh, ow! but it's like hey, what up. so yeah man, what up indeed

i have off tomorrow... glorious.

yo yo yo...

alright, i currently have more styling products on me head than a bad 80s hair band. laura decided that she could make my hair do the whole scrunch/wave thing. yeah... uhm, that didn't work out so hot, even though she got this new curl stuff that she wants to run away to tahiti with. well good for her, he treats her better than i it seems

word, so let's see... yesterday i went to the drive in wit my girls yo. finding nemo- cute, but after a while it's like ok kid, find yo daddy... ellen's character was pretty amusing though, ahh yes, & the sea gulls. the in-laws- hmm... how bout don't see it. argh, not a good movie. no no not at all... just trust me on that, 6 girls said no man. 6

so last night i didn't get to bed till like 315 even though i hadda get up at 8 only to work 9-5. oh she works hard for the money, so hard for it honey... yeah, i'm an idiot. i'm also a jerk for not having had an actual conversation wit ma boy in... i dunno, too long. fie on u work, fie on the evils of ur time consumption & sleep inducing nature. *shakes a fist* yep.

yeah, so i've been listening to evanescence like it's my j-o-b. i enjoy them, however now i'm trying to decide if they're depressing or not. cuz after all the fiona apple bans, i dunno if i'm gonna b allowed to continue on like this. argh

hurrah, not even tomorrow yet & i'm ridiculously tired... wth

yeah, so this wk, i wanna b a magazine columnist. i'm looking to the future yo. this way, after i have my asian babies i can work at home & b a good little susie homemaker. oh, & i wanna bake cakes on the side. that'll b hot yo. my kid's parties will b hot. perhaps i'll write for a teen magazine & teach all them bihotches about r-e-s-p-e-c-t, thank u aretha. seriously, those things r ridic. i was absolutely mortified!!

laura & i got free iced coffees at dunkin donuts today. bitchochin' yo. free is coo. ha, remember those animated schticks with the almighty jtt? drug free's the way to b SCORE!

ook. i'm afraid it's time for me & my bowling alley wax to say g'n.... ciao kiddies

this is old, but why not. 'tis like a moment of zen or uh, something... ha, & yet... not
Earlier this week, Saddam Hussein was giving a speech to his people and he said that president Bush wants to capture the Arab people and use them to do their cheap labor. After hearing this, president Bush said we would never do that, we're too close to Mexico. -Conan O'Brien

btw, yesterday was dana carvey's birthday! ow ow!! i loves me some funny man

argh, tired. once again, this saddens me.

ok, so behold the trauma of the almighty fish buddy. kinda long, but triumphant goodness... ha, informative if nothing more:
ThatsASin: we had a near-tragedy yesterday
noel762: oh?
ThatsASin: i was carrying fishbuddy out of the car in his little plastic cup, and my mom came to the door and offered to hold the cup because i had a lot of other stuff in my hands
noel762: uh huh
noel762: was it a red plastic cup?
ThatsASin: ha, no, clear...he came in it
ThatsASin: so it's being disputed whether i let go too early or she didn't have a good enough grip on it
ThatsASin: but at any rate, it ends up being dropped, the cup breaks, and the fish falls out onto the floor
noel762: oh oh oh!
ThatsASin: luckily, we had some spring water nearby and i managed to get him back into his aquarium before he suffocated
ThatsASin: but he definitely was hurt or in shock and we had to cancel some plans for a post-graduation lunch so i could try nursing him back to health...plus i was pretty angry with my mom because i felt like it was her fault
noel762: awh
noel762: ya cancelled plans for fish buddy?
noel762: how sweet
ThatsASin: yeah, i had to drive over to the pet store and buy some "stress coat" to help fend off the shock
ThatsASin: i can't remember ever driving that fast before
noel762: haha
noel762: oh man
noel762: what's stress coat?
ThatsASin: haha
ThatsASin: well, fish generally produce a slight coating of algae (or an algae-like substance, i dunno) when they're healthy...it helps fight off diseases and other things
ThatsASin: when they get sick or really stressed out, they lose the coating...so this is basically just some liquid algae stuff you put in the water to replace it
noel762: ahh, i c
noel762: wow, ya really did get all up on it
ThatsASin: my mom couldn't understand why i was so mad... although i guess it's possible in retrospect that it was at least partially my fault, so i feel bad about it now
noel762: did u scream obscenities at her wildly?
noel762: did u push her down some steep stairs?
ThatsASin: haha, no
noel762: did u glare into her eyes with the burning fury of a thousand suns?
noel762: cuz if not, i'm thinking she'll get over it
ThatsASin: i guess i just got kind of hostile, then i got even more angry because she refused to apologize
ThatsASin: i did sort of glare at her a lot
noel762: haha
noel762: ahh, that's delightful
noel762: so the fish is ok?
ThatsASin: well, for the first few hours afterward he barely moved at all and was really pale...so that was scary
noel762: pale? interesting
noel762: i didn't know they could b
ThatsASin: he seems to have recovered now, though...
noel762: i think the whole incident would b a great short & silent film
ThatsASin: haha...y'know, you're right
ThatsASin: maybe i can tell my mom that to lighten up the situation
noel762: yes. tell her that she should b proud that she raised a young man with such compassion & dedication
noel762: turn it into a compliment of her somehow
ThatsASin: haha
noel762: she'll get distracted
ThatsASin: good thinkin'
noel762: hey, i do what i can
ThatsASin: i guess i feel bad because my mom said everyone was proud of me for graduating or whatever, then when i got mad at her it "ruined the day"
ThatsASin: and i'm like, dude, you nearly killed my fish

and then later, i hadda go jeff style (i know, i know...):
noel762: ha, i so thought like a dad for a second- i was like heh, well that's one heck of a fish tale ahahaha!
ThatsASin: hahaha
ThatsASin: oh man
noel762: yeah, i'm sorry, i hadda
*whew* kudos to ryan for protecting his dear sweet scaley friend

hmm... not much can top that yo. here's an ultra cheery quiz. joy!


Hanging: Grab daddy's neck tie you want out: Gag!
oh i hate to see you when the ceiling fan can
hold the weight of your fat ass and your neck
is just sore in the morning!
(dont do it)


What Method of Suicide Are You?
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i love the little don't do it disclaimer. thanks pal, thanks a lot