wow, i'd be a total heffer right now if i didn't have good metabolism. i've consumed a ghastly amount of food today... within the past 20 minutes for that matter. i dunno man, i just don't know.

oy, so last night, something terribly gross happened. i was at late night with kim & mark when he decided to steal my cherry coke. now first off, i don't appreciate ppl randomly busitng in on ma shiznit. secondly, when i voiced these feelings, the beast of a boy spit in the cup. psha. ha, i'm sure u can all see where this is going. so yeah, he put it back on my tray, & got up to get me a new soda which ya know, he probably totally slipped drugs into. so meanwhile, i'm talking to kim, OH guess who's not paying attention! yeah. i totally took a sip of it, however, i did not swallow. ha, i spit it out as soon as i realized, & kim laughed like nobody's biz. she also flashed a bunch of ppl during all the hoopla, & i nearly peed my pants. mark knew nothing. oh how we laughed. ehh...

dude, that article about the new breast cancer research is totally offline. check it out, the dude was threatened with a lawsuit. oh well. i found it to be QUALITY

hope u all watched "Backstage" tonight, good episode again kiddies!! check it out on wednesday at 10 if ya didn't get the chance ;)

ev, i can't see into ur window. no worries here.

eek, halloween tomorrow! 'tis ma favorite holiday yo. HOLLA.

alright, i'm procrastinating like nobody's biz.... oof

"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."
check this out








.amusing, however, untrue.
carry on kiddies

Auto response from Jude713: Dana is one of the most offensive people ever.... it's awesome!

today someone referred to mac & cheese as "cheese pasta"... who does that?

my dad likes to make and eat fruitcake -jeff

blogger hasn't let me spread the love. the internet has been crappy, & i haven't been using my computer much out of fear that it'll blow up or something. ugh

well saturday, the boys had a party. ha, oh man. i can't even begin to quote or summarize things. it was an experience alright. today when i was with kim, an ithacappella boy who had been at the party, whom she knows, came over to say hello. they started talking about the party. were at at the party? he asked me. oh yeah... U were at the party... ha, i remember u. ur the dancing girl... u looked like u were having a good time. & there ya have it folks. there u have it.

bleh, i have a big test tomorrow... allow me to pretend to go study...

so today i overheard this random cell phone conversation:
no... no i have a sweater on & it's on over it. it's ok cuz i have a tshirt, the sweater, & *then* the denim jacket so i can still wear it.
& alexander graham bell weeps...

"backstage" aired tonight & ay, i'm proud! technological advances alright. aside from not being able to get "heartbreaker" out of my head (i mocked mariah), it was a grand ol' time.

gah, so ben came over to look at my computer & of course, no more noise. wth. it had best have magically cured itself... cuz i'm not a psycho. it was totally jivin'. oof

& am i really that sexist? ben said i'm the most sexist person he'd ever met. ryan said you're the worst girl ever and tony felt that i'm the most self-sexist person he knows.
ya know what i love about that? ha, everyone i quoted is a GUY. oh man...

man?! ha, there i go again... let's let someone else talk:

Things you would never know without the Movies

- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

- The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

- All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

"...& my second coat only cost $220" -random convo i overheard. oh well, can't be friends with that girl... cuz i'm PO'

today was a bit of a random yet self esteem boosting day. ha, i have fans! some guy stopped me at late night to tell me i'm funny, and another person told me "you have the greatest timing"... awh, so sweet. =) ppl do watch ictv dammit! this amuses me so.

my computer is making some weird noises... it was fine before break, then i turned it back on & suddenly there were noises... this does not amuse me so =(

mark told me that i have a cute stomach. he also said he doesn't like boobs. i told him he was a fruitcake. then he said "balls." ha, the taping was weird. we mentioned old ladies, monkeys, and mexicans all in the same episode. holla.

the strap of my watch is breaking, woe is me...

angel food cake!

i haven't been inspired for much crazy blogging action lately. all is well in da hood however. i've just been really tired, & trying to get back on task. hurrah hurrah.

i didn't find break to be all that relaxing or anything, i dunno, not much to say on the subject.

conan's got some lady on talking about darwin awards. apparently, they give them out to ppl who r helping to stop stupidity in the human race, essentially. u either have to be dead or sterile. one guy got it after he stole some lobsters, put them down his pants, & in turn scored himself a vasectomy. yeah buddy.

daddy's high? -my brother

"remember the titans" is a good movie. watched it tonight. cinematherapy really does exist.

i'm not much of a sports fan... buuut... YEAH YANKEES!! if nothing else, they make my sweet sweet kimberly smile

black people like penis jokes

oof, so far break hasn't been much of a break- emotionally at least. the mind works in mysterious ways. for an analytical person, it's an settling feeling to really & truly not know how u feel about anything.

hurrah hurrah

hope everyone has a good wked alright. later

celine dion has her own fragrance?!

gah! blogger just ate my post... grrr

you should be on drugs -abby informed me of this. kids, i've been saying it all along. it would just make more sense that way.

i unintentionally gave some RA chick attitude today, whoops. unintentionally, u question? ehh, it's a gift i suppose...

HAVE A FABULOUS BREAK EVERYONE!! if ur stuck in ic for it, make the best of the free time yo, & if ur not an ic'r then uh, it's almost the wked, enjoy it! WOO WOO, IMA COMIN' HOME!! :)

g'n mah lovelies ;) g'n indeed

& ay! opening doors? oh sigh...

ehh, i don't really feel like writing much, so here's a random cynical AND sexist email:
** Difference Between Men and Women **

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.

ok, now here's a further offensive joke:
Three baseball fans are on their way to a game when they come across a nude, dead woman. The Cubs fan takes off his cap & puts it over her right breast. The Yankee fan takes off his cap & puts it over the woman's left breast. Next, the Red Sox fan takes off his cap & puts it over the woman's crotch. A cop comes to check the scene. He lifts the Cubs hat, jots some notes, lifts the Yanks cap takes some notes, & then finally lifts up the Sox cap and laughs. The three men ask why he's laughing. The cop responds, "It's funny 'cuz i'm so used to seeing PUSSIES under those Red Sox hats."

and finally, might i just say that...
I HEART ITHACAPPELLA!!!!!!!!

oh yes, i do.

well tonight was an enjoyable evening... didn't get to see ben's mom though *sigh*

a part of me wants to make mac & cheese... but a part of me wants to sleep... snap. staying up till 5 last night is what's making me tired now... we'll ignore any other possible causes. ay, it just feels early still.

i wore pink eyeshadow today... just because i can.

ITHACAPPELLA & VOICESTREAM TOMORROW (TODAY)!! WOO WOO!! *swoons at the mere thought of it all* awwww yeah ;)

if we were orphans, ppl would want us to be drunk orphans -me. yeah, i dunno...

so last night was festive. went to zee black light party with kim, marina, emily, lee, & katie. mad ethnic guys! ha, i mean not that that's a problem, it's just odd considering that this school is so homogenous, then suddenly u get on a dance floor & all the thugs are on ya. i think that perhaps it's because most white boys can't dance, so the other guys r like yo, i gotsta show ma flava. i try & be a huge bitch though & give a major cold shoulder. i don't want anyone touching me, i like to dance by myself & with ma girls yo. guys just grab ya & hold ya down... or ya know, stick their hands down ur pants. oh man! then we went to a diner & marina & i attempted to get into the wrong car. good times.

another gorgeous day out, ay ay! ...and 4 days till fall break! woo woo aiight. woo woo indeed

the bigger the croutons, the happier you will be -emily. i still don't really understand... but it seemed rather proverb esque to me. & thus, how profound!

today, abby admitted that her family drinks whiskey all the time. continuously. together.

sandals again today! woo woo!!

you look even healthier today -jeremy ...score!

ha, & EV- shut up... u know ur not gonna stop with the coffee... & even if ya did, there'd just be a dangerous amount of diet coke involved. *shakes head* crazy asian...

ay, insane law quiz on the horizon... i'd best be bouncin'*

and dude- over 1000 blog visitors baby! rock on aiight

*though i do not fancy the expression which involves the act of bouncing to exit a situation, i resorted to utilizing it for the obvious alliteration which would ensue. yeah language, WOOOOO

so today, this girl in my building, lauren, had on a shirt that said "STDS" in huge letters down the side of her arm. it stood for saint whatever whatever swimming. but hot damn was that amazing. the fact that it's actually of religious connotation really kicked it up a nothc. it gave me the first good laugh in days. thank you lauren.

overall, i'm feeling a bit better today. still mad stuffy & what not, but better even if only in spirit. kim said i was being funny again. i slept for a couple hours earlier to try & get some in before the intense throat pain sets in. ppl have said i look better today, but that's a blatant lie. when ur sick, u look like ass. it comes with the territory. my hair though? oh yeah, still fucking fabulous. ha... i've really gotta hold onto what i can right now

i just swallowed one of my pills in under a minute AND without getting upset. this is such a breakthrough for me! i realize that this phobia is "just in my head", but as i told alexis & emily earlier, so is schizophrenia. i hope this doesn't make me suck as an old lady though. old people have to take mad pills, it seems. grandma says she used to be afraid of pills as well, but now she's like bring it! also, when i was at lunch i was getting saddened by the lack of taste going on. i love food so much, so to not be able to enjoy it... to have gone to applefeast & not been able to enjoy a damn thing there... ay, it's so disheartening. but grandma will often have me taste stuff she's making cuz she says her 'tasters just don't work like they used to'. that majorly sucks yo. hopefully i'll be an awesome enough old lady to make up for these faults. ima poke mad hot bois with that cane yo. ha...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have written that.' -Steven Wright

just thought i'd update to let u all know i'm still alive. critics are questioning, however:
deydra: you look worse

jeremy: how are you?
me: i'm gonna die
jeremy: yeah, you look like you're gonna die.

gah... & soon, even this shall pass... i really am so appreciative of everyone whose helped a brother out during this whole shabang. i'm sorry that i feel too crappy to really be like wow, thanks u guys! in person, but like, the emergency squad? that was awesome. thank you guys so *so* much. i owe ya.

ok, so blow drying hair... this is something i do not do. this takes time, & effort, & what not. but alas, this evening i did so. who knew my hair was so long? perhaps i shall try this again sometime. ha, though first i'd hafta get my own contraption. i dunno, i may be sick, but damn is my hair sextastic!

wow. i really can't recall the last time being sick felt so awful. i woke up this morning with promise, the dr said 7 days... tomorrow should technically be my last awful day... but ay, the tissue box is my nearest & dearest friend. i don't see how this is suddenly just gonna konk out, & zee medicine i bought only has like 1 more dose. not cool yo. not cool at all. GAHHH!! i just might end up back at the good ol' health center. why? =( i hardly ever get sick... but this one is certainly a doozie.

no classes for me today. yeah, i slept through a great portion of it. score! i'm feelin' a bit better, though still not good... blehhh

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARINA!!!

watched some bizarre movie @ jeremy's- "hedwig & the one inch itch"... i believe? a rock musical about a transvestite other than rocky. well, well... then i had a fruit roll up. now that made the trip worthwhile. (it was even strawberry)

"According to fashion experts, the woman's thong is finally going out of fashion. Designers blame the thong's demise on changing styles, a more conservative public, and Anna Nicole-Smith." -Conan O'Brien
is her show still on? good God, i hope not...

& so today, i went to the health center. yes kiddies, i am officially sick. i will now admit it. ugh. they didn't hook me up with any drugs though. apparently, it's a 7 day thing, & the 4th day (which i'm currently on) is for whatever reason the worst... well uh, ok then. happy trails ahead? ha, please?

i made marina a kick ass bday card yo. i felt bad cuz i didn't feel too well/didn't wanna infect everyone for her early bday shindig. sigh.

had a candy apple! yeah applefeast. apples are way better than those evil bananas.

& will it snow tonight? only time will tell....

i sleep with the enemy- yvone in regards to her feather pillow. (she hates them feathers, u see)

skipped my writing class today. a month & a half before my first skip... definitely better than last semester. i'm trying here yo.

hmm... i got some pictures back today. i have no scanner though so u can't see them. now wasn't that a fun tease.

there's a rumor that it's supposed to snow tomorrow night (tonight) ...wtf?

ok, bring on the wisdom-
THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
ya know, i liked 6 but 16 brings it home, no? ;) g'n my dears

i'm not sure if they'd have "huck finn" in heaven... it's got curses -me
yeah, and black people -jeremy
oh boy did i laugh...

my throat still hurts today... gah




...ok, ha, the quote was enough for me