ehh, i don't really feel like writing much, so here's a random cynical AND sexist email:
** Difference Between Men and Women **

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.

ok, now here's a further offensive joke:
Three baseball fans are on their way to a game when they come across a nude, dead woman. The Cubs fan takes off his cap & puts it over her right breast. The Yankee fan takes off his cap & puts it over the woman's left breast. Next, the Red Sox fan takes off his cap & puts it over the woman's crotch. A cop comes to check the scene. He lifts the Cubs hat, jots some notes, lifts the Yanks cap takes some notes, & then finally lifts up the Sox cap and laughs. The three men ask why he's laughing. The cop responds, "It's funny 'cuz i'm so used to seeing PUSSIES under those Red Sox hats."

and finally, might i just say that...
I HEART ITHACAPPELLA!!!!!!!!

oh yes, i do.