miranda mirahnda, tomato tomahto, my popcorn's almost done -dan is a schizo

"coupling" is a crappy new show. i can't believe it's even on such a major network before 10pm. ppl say it's like "friends", but to me it's as if the "friends" cast adopted the seinfeld 'show about nothing' philosophy, only the nothing is sex. they're just a bunch of inbreds. it's not enticing, it's skank. *shakes head* oh nbc...

tip of the day: if u live in germany & u wanna get houseguests out, feed them cold potato salad. heating it up is supposed to be better for digestion.

we got free pizza & wings tonight. score. after spending hours preparing for a law presentation, that was certainly welcome.

yesterday, i was walking back to my room when i looked into a classroom window. the students were looking at an overhead diagram of the scrotum. that is all.

& cuz i'm just so full of the tips...
** Rules For Living **

1. Never give yourself a haircut.*

2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize"and "You are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

6. The best advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?

9. Never pass up an opportunity to use the restroom (Bathroom or Toilet)

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it's not that important.

13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. Age sneaks up on you rather quickly! THAT IS FACT, NOT FICTION!

*i happen to believe that everyone should have the experience of cutting their own hair at least once

and remember:
There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves. -Jack Handey