rahhh cleaning out the good ol' email... so many quotes! figured i'd post a few so i can work the delete magic...

"It's been reported that the uniforms designed for Iraq's new police force include belts made by Calvin Klein. A spokes-person for Iraq's police force said that can't stop looters, but they look fabulous." -Conan O'Brien

"Kind of embarrassing moment at this year's Easter Egg Hunt on the White House lawn. Of all the people invited, Hans Blix was the only person who didn't find an Easter egg." -Jay Leno

"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up." -Tom Lehrer

"According to a new article in 'Cosmopolitan' magazine, they say the position you sleep in says a lot about you. They say women who sleep on their sides are sensitive, women who sleep on their stomachs are competent, and women who sleep on their backs with their ankles behind their ears are very popular." -Jay Leno

"Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling." -Jack Handey

"Tom Cruise's attorney said he's going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion." -Conan O'Brien